Mar 21, 2011

30 Day Photo Challenge Day ?

I've been super busy so I've missed a few days...or, I think this is day 14: A picture of someone I could never imagine not being in my life.

I know that this is all about posting pictures, but Liv and I got off to a bumpy start and I would like to share our story. Like most women, I was so excited to see "pregnant," pop up on the digital test. I just coincidentally had a routine OBGYN appointment the following day so it worked out perfectly, or so it seemed. I had the 6 tubes of blood drawn and an ultrasound. Everything looked fine and I was given the due date of 12/14/06. Shortly thereafter, I started spotting and went back for another ultrasound. I could immediately tell something wasn't right by the ultrasound tech's expression. Heck, I'm no professional and I could tell something was wrong from looking at the screen...there was just an empty sac, not the same one I saw in the first ultrasound photo. No baby + no heartbeat equaled heartbreak. The doc told me that I most likely had what was known as a blighted ovum, which is a very early pregnancy loss where the embryonic sac forms, but the baby doesn't. The doc planned on doing one more ultrasound  (just to be safe) that Friday, but the outlook was still grim. Of course, I was devastated-I had already fallen in love with this baby that apparently didn't exist.  Fortunately, I had lots of love and support and my aunt started a prayer chain for Liv and me. I'll never forget was a Thursday. The hubster and our good friend Lee were walking to the car to go to Bruster's for ice cream. I was craving strawberry ice cream, which was odd, because I never order strawberry, but I digress. As we were walking to the car, I saw this bright red ball of light bolt across the sky, and after witnessing this, I immediately had a calm feeling come over me. The next day on the way to what was supposed to be the appointment for one last ultrasound and to schedule a D&C, I remember telling Ant, I think we're going to have a baby. He didn't want me to get my hopes up so he was like "Kelly, there isn't going to be a baby,"  but I just knew. Of course I was very apprehensive during the ultrasound and asked the doc to point the screen away from me, because I didn't want to see it, and then I heard the best words I've possibly ever heard in my life, "there's a baby with a heartbeat!" At that very moment, I knew I couldn't live without my precious child in my life. In a sense, it felt like I had lived a week without her while waiting on that ultrasound  and I never want to experience a feeling like that again. This is part of the reason Liv's an only child. People always ask me if I plan on having more kids, but I've been blessed with one miracle and that's good enough for me!:)

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