Out of the Darkness

So, today I participated in the Out of the Darkness walk in memory of my father and all others who have been affected in some way by suicide. I went expecting to walk alone, but was almost immediately approached by a woman who saw that I was alone and she walked with me. She had recently lost her cousin to suicide, and then she introduced me to another woman who had lost her father to suicide. I went alone and came out with what I hope will become a local support group. I have tons of support from across the country, but it always helps to have someone nearby as well. Following the walk, there was a candlelight vigil (unfortunately, the candles were quick burning and burnt our hands). Nonetheless, it was touching. There was also touching music by a great local band called Blue Mother Tupelo. At the very end we all recited the following poem by Sandy Martin, titled, Lifekeeper Promise

Someone we love did not keep their life.
In pain and anguish, they ended their strife.

In this lifetime on earth, we'll  see them no more
Yet, we carry them always in our soul, in our core.

Now we're left here and we must stay.
We have life to live in the fullest each day.

For we are the LifeKeepers, Truth Bearers, Peace Seekers
We are the wounded
We are the healed
We are the LifeKeepers-our commitment now sealed.
-Sandy Martin

It was very healing to finally be around others who have dealt with the same pain. There was a mix of emotions-smiles, laughs, anger & most of all, lots of tears. The most touching thing I witnessed was a group of firefighters who had lost a fellow firefighter to suicide. Enough with words, I'm going to share some photos from today's event.

My green ribbon symbolizing the loss of a father to suicide.

<3

Fleeing Facebook...

So, the first step to recovery is admitting the problem, right? Well, I recently realized I had a Facebook problem. I found myself checking it on my phone every morning when I woke up, before I went to bed, and everywhere in between. I also found myself updating my status like every 5 minutes and posting pictures of pointless things just because. FB was consuming my life, and I knew it was time to take a break and go on a FB hiatus. During that time I was able to step outside and look in and clearly see that nobody cared about what I was eating for dinner, where I was at every minute of the day (plus, that was just an invitation for stalkers), etc. During my hiatus I have been reading more, spending more quality time with family, sleeping better, yada...yada...yada. I'm not completely kicking FB to the curb, but I'm only allowing myself to check it twice a day, MAX, and I promise to only take pictures of fascinating things such as aliens, celebrities, and other oddities.:)
-KBN

92 Truths

So, I stole this from my much younger second cousin on FB, but I need to write here goes:



WHAT WAS YOUR:



1. last beverage = Diet Coke


2. last phone call =Ant


3. Last text message = Amy


4. last song you listened to = "Best of You," by the Foo Fighters


5. last time you cried = two or three days ago (I'm not a big crier)






HAVE YOU EVER:



6. dated someone twice = yes



7. been cheated on =yes



8. kissed someone & regretted it = yes


9. lost someone special = Yes



10. been depressed = Yes



11. been drunk and threw up =yes


LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: (In order)



12. pink


13. Tiffany blue

14. cornflower blue






LAST YEAR (2010), YOU:



15. Made a new friend, who? = I made many new friends thanks to Zumba- Brooke & Jeffrey just to name a few


16. Fallen out of love = yes



17. Laughed until you cried = Yes



18. Met someone who changed you = absolutely



19. Found out who your true friends were = most definitely



20. Found out someone was talking about you = um, like always...


21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = Yes



GENERAL:



22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = most of them believe it or not


24. Do you have any pets = yes, a shih-tzu & a turtle



25. Do you want to change your name?= yes, actually, I want to change my middle name from Diane to Jane



26. What did you do for your last birthday = I had a huge 80's bash for the big 3-0-it was spectacular!


27. What time did you wake up today = 9:15 am



28. What were you doing at midnight last night = billing


29. Name something you CANNOT wait for =to sell our house so we can buy a new one!


30. Last time you saw your mother = 04/08/11


31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = a lot of things starting with a healthier diet.





MY LIFE AS WE SPEAK



32. What are you listening to right now = Liv's watching Rugrats on Netflix so that's what I'm listenting to (yay).



33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? = yes



34. What's getting on your nerves right now = the fact that my husband just started the dishwasher and I was getting ready to hop in the shower.


37. Nickname = Pink (well, at least it was in college)



38. Relationship Status = married



39. Zodiac sign = Sagittarius



40. He or She = huh? he or she did what?;) (she)



41. Elementary School = Piedmont


42. Middle School = Maury


43. High School =Jefferson County


44. Hair color = dark brown


45. Tall or short = short-ish


46. Height = 5'3"



47. Do you have a crush on someone? = Bruce Willis



48. What do you like about yourself? = that I make it to the gym at least 3 times per week, and I can finally do the tripod headstand in yoga.


49. Piercings? = ears and nose


50. Tattoos = just got my 5th one a couple of weeks ago.


51. Righty or lefty= Righty







FIRSTS:



52. First surgery = wisdom teeth extraction


53. First piercing = Ears



54. First best friend = Jennifer Chambers

55. First sport you joined = karate


56. First vacation = myrtle beach


58. First pair of trainers = im sorry what? (what my cousin said)







RIGHT NOW:



59. Eating = nothing.


60. Drinking = nothing


61. I'm about to = well, I was about to hop in the shower until the hubster started the dishwasher (see above)


62. Listening to = still the tv



63. Waiting for = the dishwasher to stop running! (see above)


64. Want kids? = got one



65. Get Married? = again?


66. Career? = Social Work


WHICH IS BETTER :



67. Lips or eyes = eyes



68. Hugs or kisses = hugs


69. Shorter or taller = indifferent


70. Older or Younger = Older



71. Romantic or spontaneous = spontaneous


72. Nice stomach or nice arms = stomach



73. Sensitive or loud = Sensitive



75. Trouble maker or hesitant = both










HAVE YOU EVER:



76. Kissed a stranger = yes (Spring break Panama City 2001)



77. Drank hard liquor = Yes



78. Lost glasses/contacts = lost sunglasses



79. Cried over a Girlfriend = yes



80. Broke someone's heart = yes


81. Had your own heart broken? = yes, but most of them later regretted it;)


82. Been arrested? = No



83. Turned someone down = Yes



84. Cried when someone died = yes



85. Fallen for a friend = Yes







DO YOU BELIEVE IN:



86. Yourself = depends on the day


87. Miracles = yes



88. Love at first sight = no, but I believe in lust at first sight



90. Santa Claus = no


91. Kiss on the first date = sure






92. Angels = yes



I can't believe I'm 30 and just completed this...I need ideas people!

30 Day Song Challenge Day 12:

A song by a band I hate (I think my friend AMC chose this one as well-I remember us having a convo on how dumb some of the lyrics are)-Nickelback's "Photograph."

30 Day Song Challenge...

Day 11-A song by my favorite band: Aerosmith's, "Cryin."

30 Day Song Challenge...

A song that makes me fall asleep-Sarah McLachlan's  "U Want Me 2." This is on my ipod's lullaby mix:

30 Day Song Challenge-Day 9

A song that I can dance to-Jennifer Lopez featuring Pitbull "On the Floor." I love to dance to this at zumba class.:)